Murphy Shares His Hugs

My friend Murphy and I visited Como Zoo today. He's about two and a half feet shorter than I am, and decades younger, but was the best companion I could want. We rode the carousol, spent most of our time around the orangatans, sea lions and seals; Murph kept returning to them and always was interested in the babies.

Murphy is a joy to be with - so polite, offering to share his ice cream cookie and root beer. We 'toasted' the day several times at our late lunch after watching the 'Sparky' show. He remembered the birds he had seen on a previous trip with his dad, the polar bears, and then, as if he didn't already have my heart (I've known him for several years), as we were walking the path thickly lined with other visitors, Murphy stretched out his arms and spun twice, saying: "I want to hug everyone!" I followed Murphy's example, stretching my arms to catch the spirit of the people around us, spun twice and said, "We're hugging everyone!" On the way back to the car, Murphy went up to the earlier identified Russian Sage and then the brown-eyed Susans, put his face gently into each group of blossoms, outstretched arms held at the edges and said, "I'm hugging you, flowers!" Murphy's parents have taught him well, to respect and help others, to share...they've also taught him to see the world around him and the connection between the environment and people...I love looking at his face and watching his eyes filled with wonder or appreciation. On the way back to the car, Murph said he was tired. I asked if he wanted me to carry him; he opted for a horse back ride on my shoulders. We did it! Near the waterfall we saw two unicylists. He asked what they were doing and then said, "I'm riding a unicycle!"

What joy and love 'our' children teach us and share! I am ready for my nap after four wonderful hours. Murph is a sweetheart, a joy, and I thank his parents for entrusting him to me for a visit to the zoo!

I'm so blessed, I could burst!

We had great interest and turnout for the city-owned vacant house tour today and Tuesday. It took me 35 minutes to walk from work to my house tonight....and for reasons I treasure. Neighbors take time to talk and to exchange news. My friend, Linda M. gave me two lovely tomatoes from her garden and shared a continuing story about her once lost cat and some neighborhood activity that surrounds the adventure. At the end of the story is a thank you note that the boys wrote on their own, to Linda. It's a bit involved, but this is a reflection of relationships in our neighborhood, between kids and adults.

Linda had given me, several weeks ago, a lovely, unusual plant. Two of our boys helped us plant it and set stone around it. Then Linda gave their mothers cut flowers and a potted plant. During the following two weeks when our weather was so dry, another neighbor told me that the boys had been carrying water over to water my plant (our plant).

Wednesday when I got home, I found a stack of beautiful postcards of Europe and Egypt. I noticed one had been addressed to Linda and called her to thank her. She told me that they were given to me by Firmen, who had received them from Linda. He knows my love for art , books, etc. and left them for me.

And then when I got home tonight after hosting the open house, I found more tomatoes from another friend. Linda C. and I shared fresh tomato wedges, olive oil, French bread fresh from Toast to Bread, and iced tea.

Many if not most people who work for the city and make daily decisions about our neighborhood and people who make the regulations for houses and streets in Dayton's Bluff don't live here. It is not enough to drive through or even walk through once or twice and think they 'know' the neighborhood. No one will know the flavor, the personality, or the heart of our neighborhood unless they make a few porch visits with us.

Think of the times you've been so happy, or so filled with pleasure that you feel you could burst, or blurt out you happiness so loud in public. That is what I feel for where I live and the people around me. I am so blessed.

Porch Talk

On several occasions I've visited different friends who live on the lakes in Minneapolis. Their condos and homes are raised and enjoy an absolutely beautiful view of the lakes and winding streets. I've found it so pleasant to be on their decks and watch the sky and water. When I visit Door County I usually stay with a friend whose home is right on the Bay. There too, I enjoy the quiet view of the water and vastness of the sky.

I've often wondered, though, at the antsy-ness I feel after five or ten minutes. I've come to realize I miss the connection of people in my view. Perhaps I'm fooling myself and could get very laid back, in the almost absolute quiet, but I'm not too sure. I have a small porch attached to my second floor apartment and I do enjoy it. It offers privacy while eating lunch, and I'm not 'available' to people unless I want to be.

But, where I really enjoy being is on the downstairs front porch. Though a bit raised off the street, it's close enough to be connected...to have a quiet level conversation with people who want to chat a bit...to exchange greetings or news with the kids riding by...to give the evil look to drivers who go through the stop sign or blast their music. It's that connection with life that I enjoy. Yes, it's sometimes stressful, but usually it's heaven.

The beauty lies in evenings like yesterday. After walking home and entering my apartment through the backdoor, I put down my bags and went to answer the front doorbell. Ariel and her sister, Keyra (sp) were there for a porch visit and pretzels...and for Ariel to show off Sophie and my artwork to her sister. As we visited, Doris, a former neighbor came by and then Ariel and Keyra treated us to signing and singing of Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston songs. Jose and Mario came up to join us.

As I was sweeping some of the sidewalk debris, seven of so of the neighborhood boys rode up now and then to give me news of Linda's missing kitten. Then two Mpls new friends stopped over and we talked creativity, neighborhood activism and changes on the porch into the dark.

I couldn't get this on a quiet deck two stories above a bike route and lake.

"The Kindness of Strangers...."

Almost done with a book by Marc Freedman. Insightful, well thought out and researched, this book discusses the history and birth of mentorship, its relationships and value, and real-life mentoring experiences. I highly recommend "The Kindness of Strangers: Adult Mentors, Urban Youth, and the New Volunteerism". From about 1989 to 1993 I was foster parent to teen girls who had been sexually abused and to teen boys who were aging out of the foster system, but were not wanted at home. At a foster parent conference, a co-worker of Marion Edelman-Wright spoke and used an example that remains imbedded in my values:

Picture an island of children, of all varieties and ages. It's an island of only children, no adults or adult influence. Some 50 or 100 yards away is another island - of adults. In nature's way, each child will one day, in his/her own time, feel an innate desire to move to the adult island. However, the islands are separated by roiled waters, great depths, and unknown challenges. Some of the children have made it to the adult island on their own, worn, but safe. Others are afraid to even set out into the water. Others try, but make it only partway, some not surviving, some turning back, perhaps to try again, perhaps not. The children can all use in one way or another, the help of an adult - meeting halfway, perhaps meeting a child right on the water's edge of the child's island. Some children just need an outstretched hand to claim the imposing beach of the adult island. The children need us to meet them where they are...and we are the only ones who can help them.

This book takes me back to that conference. It's a reminder I appreciate and would like to pass on.

A neighborhood convergence

Our Bates/Fourth area Neighborhood Night Out went very well. I had conversations with quite a number of people who have offered no more than a returned 'How are you?' in the past as they've walked by; and an insightful conversation with a young man, Darnell, who had quite a bit to say about how other young Black men should dress and conduct themselves in order to receive the respect they say they want.

I was able to chat with Diane and others who live a block and a half away, who I haven't seen outside in quite a while. A few more kids have started coming to movie night as a result of getting to know them a bit. I love that Ariel is a reader, lover of books, and enjoys art.

Today three young women walked to our 'paint the pavement' mural and I talked with them about it. One had stopped here on NNO and she was explaining how it came to 'appear'. These three young women had just moved in a block and a half down. Now, this moment, I'm thinking of where I might know them. I kept saying how one looked so familiar. I think she's the one I believe is a prostitute who walked by a few days ago and, for several reasons, made an impact on me. I could be wrong. If not, I'll can be a good contact. That's funny.

I was telling them how delightful it is when I see older teens 'dancing' on the mural late at night, or how our kids like to skate on the curves of the mural. Then there is the comparison of the once blank, dirty intersection. The bright colors of the painting fill in the stark grey expanse from corner to corner and proclaim: "people here care", "drive cautiously, children play here", "residents here see what happens and respond".

I love it when a driver pauses on the mural and exclaims a 'wow!' that I can hear from my window. I love seeing the smiles and the questioning looks; or when someone realizes that weird little character on the log is a bear...and some, even, the Hamm's Bear!

Unfortunately, some cars still drive right through the four way stop. It's a step; and people seem to love to step on it, almost in it, as if grass and water....they seem to want to become integrated in the mural...like disappearing into a painting to enjoy the other life....

Our kids

Last night we were visited by a Minneapolis Trib photograper as we held our Friday movie on the porch. We showed Gran Torino (kids got permission). Kyle gave an occasional commentary to relate the action or comments so the kids could relate them to their own lives and experiences. They all stayed for the end and they'll be talking more about it when they're over later today.

When I'm asked for a description of our neighborhood, all too often I fall into the sociological or physical description...I become a parrot of those who don't live here and know it. What our neighborhood is, is the kids. They keep me grounded, they make me smile when I come home and I see them on our porch or at the fence waiting for me. Bonni is home during the day right now and has been engaging them in watercolor. Cesar, especially enjoys art...how would we have ever known? Phermin, oldest at 'almost 14' is the most shy, but opening up. Last night he giggled a lot, but didn't pull his shirt up over his face as a couple weeks before when his photograph is being taken.

Mario, Cesar's brother will follow in his brother's outgoing, confident steps, I think. Pedro is a bit quieter....Last night, Ariel finally joined us. She walks past our house very often and we've invited her up. After talking at Neighborhood Night Out, she's become a bit more open...she's a joy and I'll look forward to getting to know her.

Adrian, Brandon, and Riley all stopped by later and stayed for the end...Chris, starting eighth grade this fall, tries to be so cool...too bad he couldn't have stayed for 'Pretty in Pink' or 'Sixteen Candles' last weekend! All that young male angst...

Besides movies, we've started group video games on the porch and Jeopardy (they love the adults getting excited) with the projector.

We REALLY need our own multi-use projector to use with the DVD/VHS players and game attachments.

It's a beautiful day in my neighborhood.....